Dogs EVERYWHERE!!!: Why I Have SEVEN Dogs! Part Two:
Shithead Cavaliers
Previously on Dogs EVERYWHERE!!!: Why I Have SEVEN Dogs!:
My roommate and, by association, I have seven Cavalier King Charles Spaniels living in our little house. // I love animals big and small, except snakes and ants because fuck them.// She was in 4H, which stands for Health, Home, Hemorrhoids, and Herpes. // A desire she subliminally introduced to her parents by way of whiney requests. // …forever altering the course of my life. // She’s a crafty bitch who sells on Instagram. // One, one dog, hahahahahahaha! // , Charlie had four puppies, // To be continued…
The first puppy we sold went to a very enthusiastic woman and her husband. We scheduled meetings to get the dogs used to their people and make it seem a little less like a snatch-and-grab taking the dogs from everything they’ve ever known to live with a stranger at three months old. She showed up to her appointments up to an hour early because she was too excited. She was a dog trainer and wanted to become a breeder as well. This is when I learned how hard dog breeding is. From the first one to go, Worf whom she renamed Chip, to the most recent Biggie, who they renamed Buster, I get choked up and teary-eyed.
She did become a breeder. Worf sired multiple litters. She and Reginald, and me vicariously, became close. We even grew to call her Aunty Joann. I started it because she had Charlie’s baby, but she was also close to our mothers’ ages. We went to her for many training classes. After her divorce and before she moved to Oregon, I house-sat for her while she and Reginald went out of town to dog shows, changed her garage codes without giving her the new codes (That’s a joke. She asked me to.), and cleaned out her gutters. She, Freedom Cavaliers, along with Reginald, Lavander Cavaliers, and Moonshadow Cavaliers, from whom Reginald got Charlie, formed a breeding alliance called Shithead Cavaliers.
Tori, who Reginald kept to continue her dog breeding, couldn’t have puppies. In her only attempt, she had a miscarriage, got an infection, and had to have an emergency hysterectomy. She almost died. Instead, Reginald procured another dog from her mentors. That brought the total to four, four dogs, eheheheheh.
Three dogs was the standard for about five years. It’s too many, but we figured it out and made it work. Then, we went to visit Aunty Joann in Oregon. Moonshadow Cavaliers was about 45 minutes away.
Moonshadow owed Reginald a puppy as part of a deal they made in which Troy sired a litter for Moonshadow. Reginald inspected their puppies as litters came and went, but we agreed that having four dogs was way too many. We also have a strict household rule that we do not acquire impulse pets.
Aunty Joann and Reginald went to visit, while I stayed at Aunty Joann’s house to write. They came back a few hours later with a puppy. They went out to lunch. I was so pissed that I couldn’t eat for more than 24 hours. I stayed with the puppy who almost killed herself trying to get out of her cage, so I let her out. She walked over and curled up by my feet where she stayed until they returned.
This was also the first trip in the Prius Prime I just bought and made the rule that no dogs were allowed in it. Tori shat in it on the way. It was in part my fault because we were so close that I didn’t want to pull over. We left the next day. Despite my protests, the puppy came with us. That was the last time we saw Aunty Joann.
After the first 24 hours, I accepted her. I’m not a monster. I’m an animal lover who loves all animals except snakes and ants because fuck them, but three dogs are too many, and we have a rule against impulse pets in the home, which, like my no dogs in the car rule, was blatantly shunned. Having four dogs is something a crazy hoarder does. Guess who had to take care of all these dogs, including the new puppy who was not house-trained and liked to hide her doodies. That’s right. House bitch Nobbi. To make things worse, the other dogs did not accept this new Thing running around, trying to snuggle with them, and chew on their ears.
Then, all fuck broke loose…
